It's been a long time ...

... since I did one of these ... I didn't even know such a thing existed.

You Have Many Alpha Tendencies

You're not a total alpha female, but you certainly know how to - and like to - get your way. You're forceful without being intimidating. You're confident without being vain. A perfect mix.

Are You an Alpha Female?

Last night, on a whim, I decided to go to a charity gig. A friend - the new gig buddy - was getting there earlier than me and she bought my ticket and saved me a seat. I don't normally go to gigs midweek as I struggle to get up for work the next day at the best of times. Several people had already asked me to go, but I was resisting due to the money situation too. However, when 3 people on the trot asked me again yesterday, I thought perhaps I should.

We had a great evening. Three bands were playing, there were raffle tickets and an auction, and they raised over £2,500. The organisation was perfect and there was a wonderful atmosphere, full of camaraderie and luuurrrvvve. I'm glad I went, but I feel weary today.

I'm off to another gig tonight, at my member club. At least I get to lie in tomorrow, though.

It's pouring with rain, it's the weekend. Have a good one.

The bongo telegraph

So much for St Swithun's Day. It's glorious here at Sleepy Hollow today. I'm doing half a day at work - the middle half ...

Bongo telegraph
I don't just work on the magazine and newsletter. I'm also supposed to help out with all kinds of communication and publicity issues. It's just that my official title is "editor - RD&T Magazine".

In these sombre times we need to motivate staff and shout about our achievements, and we also need to encourage new business to keep us afloat. We're starting with a load of positive initiatives that aren't going to cost the earth to promote, and various departments are now producing their own publicity material, which is all well and good, but it looks nothing like what our housestyle dictates and often comes across as quite amateurish and messy.

This is where I come in, as C&P, and where our media services department comes in too. We can stylise any publicity material so it all looks as though it's come from the same company, but make it also look individual enough that it's obviously a such-and-such a department promotion. And we can take away some of the organisation.

I'm trying to encourage people to come to me to help with content and approach before then moving on to our media services department to produce and distribute literature such as posters. I've started with our HR deparment, to which I have a dotted line of accountability. But the bongo telegraph has been at work and I also now have not 1 but 3 - three - health & safety initiatives to help out with, and maybe a 4th ...

Interesting times ahead before I go into magazine production on 14 August. Should be fun.

My mobile phone
I wish I had a bongo telegraph for my own personal use, as my mobile phone seems to be on the blip. Texts I'm sending aren't arriving, or are taking several days. Ditto texts to me. When people ring they sometimes get me, they sometimes get the answerphone, and they sometimes get "Sorry, the number you are calling is temporarily unavailable".

I think it's a memory problem, and I know the phone is going to answerphone or message when I'm browsing the internet, so every time I come out of the internet, I have to reset the phone by switching it off and on. Sometimes I also take out the battery and replace it. (Can't remember how to get the sim card out and it looks like something from The Krypton Factor.)

So, I suppose what I'm saying, without sounding like a Billy-No-Mates, is this. If you send me a text and I don't reply, I've not received it. If you ask me a question in a text and I don't send you the answer, then I will have but it's floating somewhere in the ether. If you want to speak to me and keep getting answerphone or message, text me - several times until you get a response - asking for the landline and work numbers. And if you DO get the answerphone - LEAVE ME A MESSAGE. I WILL get back to you.

My contract is up for renewal in September. I don't know whether to get it seen to before then or wait until I get a new phone. In the meantime, please keep trying.

A secret hero

Last night before I went to bed I am certain there was a dead body in the yard. Not a mangled one, or the leftovers of one, but a poor little bird. I didn't feel up to moving it last night, decided to do it this morning. But this morning, there it was gone.

It could have been my next door neighbour's bloke that moved it, who knows I don't really like disposing of such things and thinks it's highly amusing that I chose to live in a semi-rural location when I dislike the life-and-death part of it so much. But his heart is in the right place. It could have been a tom cat that's been hanging around for a couple of months that I sometimes feed that took it away. It could have been Holly, who has taken to taking dead bodies into either her own kennel (a cat kennel in the yard) or next door's kennel (um, where an alsatian and a rottweiller live ... brave cat) to play with them. Or it could have been something else.

Whichever, I seem to have a secret hero who answered my request yesterday.

Today it's pouring with rain. I forgot that today was St Swithun's day (thank you, Sue). That means it's going to rain for the next 40 days ... I don't mind the rain at all, but I've noticed since moving to Yorkshire that when it starts to rain here, it does in fact forget to stop. Perhaps it will have rained itself out by 24 August.

This morning I'm at work again and already I've discussed an article by email and had a long phone conversation with the deputy editor/Smoggie snapper. At 11:30am I have someone coming to discuss a new poster campaign with me - I don't just work on the magazine and newsletter you know. This afternoon I must finalise my magazine page plan and at least know who I'm emailing and what they're providing. I think we're also going to have a newsletter this time as we have plenty of local (UK) information. I still have a technical report to proof too.

Diary of an article submission
And so last week I came up with the spark of an idea for an article for a parenting magazine. The idea occurred when I was snooping on someone else's Facebook status update. I fired off a query to the Facebook owner, and I think I have at least one mum and child and one dad and child to feature in a possible case study/multi interview/product review kind of thing. I'd like at least 2 more mums and offspring, but I can secure those if and when I get a commission.

The next thing I did was go and scan the parenting titles in our local WH Smiths. It must have been the wrong time of the month for baby magazines, though, as there was just a handful. I was able to discount most of them as they were either one-off specials or notorious as being purely staff-written (I wasn't a markets correspondent for writers for 10 years for nothing). There weren't any from IPC there, which is a shame as I know they do produce them. However, I did pick up 3 to take home and study.

Of the 3, another 1 has been discarded. I have a Bauer and an independent title, the 3rd was National Magazines, but a quick scan of the editorial masthead suggested that even if they were interested in ideas for features, they might not be very receptive. So I chose the 2 that made it clear they do welcome articles and ideas. If there's another thing I've learned, it's find the submission-friendly markets first.

I browsed the magazines first, looking at the style, type and length of existing articles and stories, then I read the features that looked to be quite meaty. I don't need to scan the ads as I think I already know who reads the magazines, although it's true that some of the ads will reveal how affluent or not the readers are. I'm not generally an ads person, though. I prefer to read the content and, if anything, the readers' letters. (I mean, there's the old standard that just because People's Friend carries ads for stairlifts and incontinence pads, doesn't necessarily follow that this is what the readers want to read about.) (Although I do have a short story idea that features a stairlift ...)

I think I'm going to slant my query to suit the independent one first, because they may receive fewer submissions than the big boys. Some people think you should aim high and work your way down, and I often agree. But as I've never written for the parenting titles before, as I'm not a parent, and as I've had a few years off, I'm going to take what I hope will be the more receptive option.

So, next step - draft query. Keep everything crossed.

Getting brighter

Okay, hands up everyone that noticed that the posts got a bit more writerly towards the end of last week. Sorry about that. I went into overload and couldn't think of anything positive to say about anything, and I thought those might be better than nothing. I do hope you enjoyed the stories, though.

There is still no sign of my cat, and it will be 4 weeks today since I last saw her. But people are asking me, either to my face, or by text or by email, if there is any news and it's still upsetting me - wuss that I am. The chin gets a wobble on and I feel a right ponce for welling up again. Any news WILL be on here, on Facebook, on the guestbook, or I'll send you a text if that's what I promised to do. If you could refrain from asking, though, it would be appreciated and possibly safer for you. Unless you're also prepared to hug ...

On a brighter note, a band mate made it possible for me and the keep fat buddy to go along to see Suzi Quatro at the Holmfirth Picturedome on Saturday, and it was one of the best nights out I've had in a long time, probably the best gig I've been to since moving up to Yorkshire.

Suzi Quatro turned 59 in June - fifty nine - yet still she looks good. Her voice is just as powerful and she's a little firecracker, even if her bass guitar is bigger than she is. Halfway through the set she changed into a skin-tight leather catsuit ("I changed into something less comfortable"), which I thought was very brave as they're not the most forgiving of outfits. But she looked beautiful, fit and gorgeous ... and I do like a bass player to use the fingers ... always worries me when it's a bird that, though ... My favourite part was when she did a drum duet. Fantastic.

By the end of the night I had sore hands, sore feet and a sore throat from clapping, dancing and singing, and we were shattered. So we didn't stick around for the Travelling Bilberets up in the balcony bar.

Because we'd saved on the entrance fee, I was able to buy a signed CD. A great memento of a great night. If you missed it, too bad.

The cat-that-doesn't-live-here, aka (Fats) Domino, seems to be a bit of a killing machine and I have no idea how she does it. She's big and fat and lazy and slow and greedy, yet still she manages to catch birds and mice. I've just about got used to clearing dead bodies from the yard, but now there's something else ... the fainthearted should look away now. I thought one of them had found a supply of dog biscuits and was regurgitating them back up. However, this morning I realised it wasn't dog biscuits at all, but dead animal leftovers ... or innards. Eurgh! The bodies I can do - just about - but how do I clear this, this ... yuck up?

What I need is a hero, someone that can do that kind of thing for me. I have a spare room, running water - hot and cold - and an upstairs bathroom. In the meantime, the room is available for anyone that needs a place to crash ... but the ability to also be a temporary part time hero will be an added advantage.

Oh, the fainthearted may look again. :o)

Today, and for the rest of the week, I'm at work, including half a day on Thursday. We're almost a month away from production on the Autumn magazine, so I need to finalise content and get the confirmation emails out.

Ideas go with markets

Or they do in my experience. I personally believe that you can't write an article without first at least having some idea of where it might sell. As you will see from yesterday's post, whenever an idea springs into my head, so too does a market. Not a named market, but a genre market. The names come later, unless I already know one that an idea would be perfect for.

I think the same is true, to a certain extent, of short stories. Yes, you can write fiction on a whim, a lightbulb, an idea, and you simply have to get it all down before it all disappears back to from whence it came. But unless I know already which reader I'm writing for, I don't start.

Whenever I write an article or a short story I always start with the idea, or even a title. Then, when I get that commission or when I just plain decide to go for it, I write a brief synopsis, and that synopsis is to a template:

Synopsis [ok, so I'm anal] - this goes at the top of the page, centred
Title: [my working title is usually my actual title] - centred
by Diane Parkin [just call me anal ...] - centred
Market: [the name of the publication] - all left aligned now
Length: [word count - either contracted or whatever the market runs to]
Deadline: [either real or imaginary]
Opening: [often the intro written in draft form]
Middle: [lots of bullets to make sure I include everything - if it runs over I then have plenty to prune] - left aligned with indented bullets
End: [often the outro written in draft form]
Twist/Back to beginning: [self explanatory]

The synopsis stays in front of me while I write the piece, usually in a different notebook, and I tick things off as I go along.

Whatever kind of short story I'm writing, there's always a twist at the end, however slight, however subtle. When I write an article I try to link the ending with the opening, or repeat something from the intro as either ironic or in support of my initial premise (or whatever the correct jargon is). When I write a novel, at least 2 out of every 3 chapters ends on a cliff hanger or with a twist. But until I have that market, I can't start. And I'm the same with a title.

How ideas occur to me

I don't want to write articles for magazines any more, not really. But I do seem to be a natural magazine article writer. And when needs must, sometimes you just have to do what you do well to make ends meet. And let's face it, I'd rather force myself to write articles to help pay the mortgage than force myself to clean toilets - but I've done the latter before now as well.

For example, I can't go for a simple walk without thinking: this would make a great article for a walking magazine ... or a fitness magazine ... or a retirement magazine; the flora and fauna would make a great wildlife article ... or a botanical article; there are so many birds on this walk, I wonder if a bird watching magazine might be interested; this walk along that canal towpath would be perfect for a waterways magazine; look at all the history on this route, how many history magazines could I sell this to, or family history magazines?; this is part of the xyz long distance path, a travel magazine might be interested in it; the abc cycle trail runs parallel to this, how about some of the cycling magazines?; how many counties this path crosses - surely one of the county mags would be interested, or the new town/city mags, or a local newspaper; there are some great photography opportunities here, wonder if a camera mag would be interested; I bet such-and-such a woman's-weekly magazine would be interested in the people that are running this walk; running - do people run this path?; or the people that live and work on the route, I could interview them. And so on.

It happened again this morning. I was minding my own business, browsing the status updates on Facebook when one of my friends asked for help and advice for dealing with a certain infant ailment her child was experiencing. She had about a dozen replies, many suggesting different creams and methods and ointments, many saying why this cream didn't work for them but others saying that's funny because they'd swear by it. And I started to think, what a splendid idea for a parenting magazine, and me not even a parent.

This happens to me all the time. All. The. Time. I get ideas from all over the place, write them down, think of markets, and then something grinds me to a halt. Either I can't find a market interested, or I think STOP, I don't want to write articles for magazines, or my confidence fails and I don't get as far as the query, or interviewees pull out at the last minute, or I can't get decent pictures, or I have trouble applying bum to seat (usually the crunch one).

And so I'm going to run with this one, and so are you. I'm going to see how far I get before grinding to a halt, and if it's the final hurdle, all of you lot are going to press me down into that seat and make me type. Okay? Okay.

I have the basic idea, step one complete. I seem to have one interviewee lined up already, step two. I have 3 parenting magazines to study, step three. Time to start studying.

Lie through your teeth ...

... well, not necessarily lie per se, but if you can back something up with a spot of research ...

And so I'd been writing short stories for a couple of years but I already knew that market was shrinking. We lost all of the Argus publications in one swoop - Hers, Her Story, Love Story, Holiday Romance, True Romance, etc - Loving hated everything I sent, and other avenues were closing down - Oh Boy, Patches, Jackie, Annabel (what a crime that was) (it closing down, not the magazine), My Guy. But everyone knew if you wanted to be a successful writer in that climate (I've worked through 2 recessions), you had to be able to write articles, or a blockbuster novel. Judith Krantz, Jackie Collins and Barbara Taylor Bradford were all doing particularly well. I decided that articles were more within my reach.

I'd sent a story off to Today's Guide. It was a brilliant story, very funny and lively (even if I do say so myself), and it was called Guy Fawkes Jamboree. (Can you guess what it was about? Try to hang a story or an article on an anniversary peg, it increases the chances of success.) And it came smartly back. But I had a friend at work who was a Guide leader and she'd complained about the tosh that sometimes appeared in the magazine (her words, not mine ... hey, she was the customer after all). So I studied the articles in a few copies and noticed they did a readymade slot all about badge work. All I needed to do was choose a badge, choose a section of the badge work, and voila - synopsis already made.

I wrote to them, saying I'd like to write one of their badge articles and were there any in particular that they hadn't covered in too long. A letter came back, complete with sample articles, asking me if I could write something for the collector's badge. Well, I didn't collect anything, apart from match books, and I didn't think that would be particularly interesting to Girl Guides (they were still called Girl Guides in those days, but are simply Guides today I believe). But my then boyfriend collected old bottles. So I wrote back telling them I'd been an avid collector of bottles for years - YEARS - and did they fancy an article on that? (I secretly hoped they'd say no and ask for something I did know about ...) They wrote back straight away saying that would be perfect and how soon could I do it? I turned it around in a weekend, squeezing in a visit to the library too to back up what my boyfriend could tell me, and we already had photographs.

Today's Guide accepted that article and asked if I had anything else I could send them ... so I sent Guy Fawkes Jamboree, which they snapped up saying it was "ideal", "very funny" and "lively". (See?) I carried on writing articles and stories for several years for that publication and the new one it morphed into, Guide Patrol, and then the sister magazine for the Guide leaders, Guiding. I'd not only sold my first ever article, I'd also received my first ever commission, and that's probably why I now have difficulty writing an article without a firm commission already in hand.

And what is the point to my story? Well, there are two, actually.

First of all, when people say you should write what you know, that isn't strictly true. I prefer to say know what you write, and if you're interested enough, you can learn about something new. Guide Patrol called me at work on a Friday once and asked how quickly could I get an article on bee keeping to them. I knew nothing about bee keeping, but I knew a man that did, and I had a very good local library, so that was another article that was in the post by close of business on the Monday.

And secondly, just because a magazine rejects a story doesn't necessarily mean they reject it forever. Things are much tighter these days, but several times I've sold stories to magazines that were previously rejected. One of my more famous was when I was told "we don't publish ghost stories", and then a few months later they did exactly that. My ghost story went straight back, unchanged, and sold straight away. Others have gone back slightly tweaked, or with suggested changes made. But generally they've gone back unchanged.

And re-sales too - I sold the bottle article to 4 different publications, each one re-written to suit the new market with any new information that had since become available and some different pictures. (I also wrote a short story around the subject and sold that too.) And I held onto my rights in as many cases as possible for the reprint markets, although those have also shrunk by now.

So, you've had the "how I started" and the "how I sold my first story", all rolled into one, and here is the "how I sold my first article". Next it will be "how I sold my first book", when it's done ... Then all we'll need is the "how I sold my first novel". Wish me luck ...